A word to my friends... Or the reason for my ignorance and disinterest and sadness

For those who came late:: Read This First.. Then the rest read from the bottom :)

I have been blogging about my life at NiTC. But then it is a long time since i posted the last item. All this while i have been thinking about whether to write this or not and what to write next. It was all about what one of my friends' the one guy Mr. X told me or rather advised me during our last meeting in college. This is a reply to him too. Why I was like this, why was I left out? Now i understand because i had kept two faces, One at home and one at college. It may be because for me my whole exposure to college was about a different kind of living after about 14 years of spoon-fed life. I tried to hide my face at college at home. That made me less open when i was at home so may be that made me respond a bit uninterested when friends called me at home. Yes, Mr. X if you are reading this it was the reason rather than I was sitting in front of a computer. Thanks you told me now that i really understood it. May be I realised a bit too late now. But it is always better late than never.

So may be my inexperience to the world then did a lot of negatives. May be my hope so I consider the college as a family, all the seniors like elder brothers. But then i tend to consider a lot of opinion from my already existing family before adding one to the close circle that's all. I blindly believe people once they have crossed a level of my trust. I think that has been an evil too. I have never thought or responded before acting on the words of my close brothers. I've loved them back without even thinking why people loved me. What for i have never thought whether they loved me for their personal gains or because it was possible for me to use them. But then to be frank, i have never been so attached with my friends like with my seniors because when i did a work for them i was appreciated a lot, because i was not one among them. But then when i did a work for my friends or my year, i wasn't appreciated as much i was really sad. Now when it is too late only i understand, it was because i was always one among them. Now only i understand rarely people get a lot of appreciated when you do your duty. Once again thanks for opening my eyes.

I have been proved wrong a lot of times. But then i simply think it was an accidental mistake that caused that problem and i still believe in my friends or remove some person from the list i blindly believe in. Believing in some words i have spread a lot of poison around in NiTC. I've hated a lot of people. But now i'm sorry for that. I never guessed the world will be so selfish in all respects. If you ask me whether i learned it is all so selfish, the answer is no. May be i understand that when i'm all alone and blogging. But i never remember it when i'm busy with my friends. I know a handful of friends are out there who always believed me and those who i believe in and i have always suffered when they were not near me. Only thing i am sad about is the people to whom i have caused damage because of ignorance and the fact that my good friends who are close would have been really really close if i had not kept those two faces. But then life is about a lot of ups and downs.

I know you people who read might be feeling this is just my viewpoint. Ya, it is true. I will always see that only and this blog is supposed to be read by me to justify me and what i need while writing this blog is a couple or more of Eye-openers that will allow me to live through a prosperous and happy future career.

...Watch Out For More Episodes soon ...

PS: All characters appearing in this blog are real individuals. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely intentional. This blog only pertains to my views and it is certainly biased. But these stories i will be true to my conscience and will only be as i know it. It may be wrong from somebody else's view. I might have glorified a lot of things that may seem bad or undesirable those things are those i love and i might have missed somethings that i should have, maybe that is not important to me.. may be i have loathed a lot of glorious things, that will be the things i hate , but I am not at all ready to change my views and no complaints shall be entertained. But real suggestions are really welcome. Anyone is welcome to comment on this and if there is someone so pissed off do whatever you want, I simply don't mind. Tell me your opinion. Also please comment on my blog. Just i want to know whether somebody has actually read mine :)

PPS: sorry I'm late Quest.. I was busy all along.

NiTC : My Story ....:: Episode 3 ::.. The Golden Age

Life was all fun in the first year. It made us together, the vegaland trip gathering all the people.. etc made it interesting and the compromise talk made on politics in the end of first year proved we despite our differences can stand together. Then came the hostel allotments. The Group which had a name reminding that of the thing used to lift some items did ironically occupy the top of B-Hostel and those who were “tharas” occupied the below part. There was indeed division of wings... But the whole point was since there was option of choosing room then instead of like just choosing a hostel now, each group had its own areas and there was a little segregation but we all were fine together. We enjoyed the presence of a common room among our rooms. The room of X &Y . But the whole point is we had the hostel just for us , “the mallu 2^nd years” as in NiTC Lingo... My room was a bit of great room. With a symbolism of unity among our group,i should say, politically. We were from actually different political views. Rare but it was fun. This can well be called the Golden Age. And the initial part of that is what i call...”The Best Days of my life”.

Telling about the golden age, For any group or dynasty that ruled the part or a small area in India always had its golden age. Everyone has a humble beginning, The rise to prosperity, and then always there’s a downfall. For our Group, the humble beginning was in the first year, where we gained trust and friendship of the heads of Ragam and main people in the then third year. May be there was a thing of alternate year psychology or the liking always exists between alternate years. Our just seniors were never the favourites of the third years and hence we rose unlimitedly. The Rise reached its podium when the then 3^rd years become final years and with our help, they could rise to power with full panel being elected. Then our juniors had just come and were insignificant and when we who defined the year under leadership of Mr.G, was in support of the people who stood for “let no external party be here” almost unanimously. So with our supporting seniors in full panel power, and with just work and no responsibilities we could easily say “Hakuna Matata” in swahili. So life was fun. Then we had a power in college no one would oppose. We were the pets of final years. We were in power. We were unignorable, since a united year always was power according to the laws of politics that existed at NiTC then. We were so undivided and united we could challenge even the final years and we did do that. Whether everybody understood or not, it did create a small gap in between the years.

We enjoyed the golden age a lot and it was really fun. We did have a lot of liberties. We were the life blood of college then. So i call it “ the Golden Age”. We did make something happen. Then another thing that was our characteristic those days were the reason for the decline of the group. That cannot be understood now. It will be mentioned later J. We had no responsibilities and had a lot of work those days and life was so much fun. There was Christmas with a Carol conducted by us, just like there was first year onam feast for our year, but this time for the whole college. There was Ragam 07 which was really big, second in dimension only to Ragam 09. Then there was new year trip to Goa, which i missed because of the serious side effects caused by too much enjoyment. Then there were nightouts just to put a counter poster in reply to what the other party had posted against us. A poster made with great effort and spirit. Then were marriages of sister’s of friends which we went with great excitement. There was a lot of excitement that which we celebrated when we all were together in one Hostel. That was a feeling that made it great. It was never like second year again. There was difference in rooms, difference in hostels when we moved on.

Then about our togetherness and greatness, didn’t i tell once we did challenge the final years, The issue was “Fours”, the fours tournament conducted by final years, and was usually won by Final years by hook or crook. That was all about the Spirit of Participation, like the Olympics founder said. But then we expected our seniors to be a bit more inclined towards us since we were so good friends and brothers. But it happened otherwise. In a game of the knockout leg, the whistle blew just when a final year team were ahead, and the team that lead most time before did lose. We ddint expect this from our seniors and we protested and we were send back into our hostel. But i wasn’t much interested because i never like two of my friends fighting for whatever reason and on one side was my seniors whp were like my elder brothers who did mentor me and helped me, and on the other side was my friends and year mates who were also that close. Then talking about quarrels i would quote the dialogue from the Malayalam film “veruthe oru bharya”... “Nammal manushyanmarellam swantham thettine nyayikarikunna vakkeelanmaranu, ennu paranjal mattullavarude thettu valuthakki kanikkunna midukkanmaraya vakkellanmar”..(We all are lawyers who justify our own mistakes, smart lawyers who blow up others mistakes in order to justify ourselves” there was always mistake on both parts..

...Watch Out For More...

PS: All characters appearing in this blog are real individuals. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely intentional. This blog only pertains to my views and it is certainly biased. But these stories i will be true to my conscience and will only be as i know it. It may be wrong from somebody else's view. I might have glorified a lot of things that may seem bad or undesirable those things are those i love and i might have missed somethings that i should have, maybe that is not important to me.. may be i have loathed a lot of glorious things, that will be the things i hate , but I am not at all ready to change my views and no complaints shall be entertained. But real suggestions are really welcome. Anyone is welcome to comment on this and if there is someone so pissed off do whatever you want, I simply don't mind. Tell me your opinion. Also please comment on my blog. Just i want to know whether somebody has actually read mine :P

PS: @quest: I know you are reading.. this tym i would love to have somebody else too.... :)

NiTC: My story... ....:: Episode 2 ::..

During this last days of my life at NiTC, the problem with my blogging is that, you know its easy to identify me, because of two reasons, one being the description detail in the blog and the second one that nobody else will be blogging this time of the year during the end semsters. :) Another thing that we (or i dont know whether its me) always loved is the loving seniors we had. Why the seniors were loving us too much. May be because of our attitude, our unity, may be because we were a group powerful of influencing an election at NiTC. I still do not know why. But I still know how and when it started. The timing in the first year where strict like 7 PM at A- hostel meant meant we were in at least by 7:15. I don't think the juniors will understand how it is to be having a Great chief warden.

If the question is "What is the importance of the timing here?" the  timing was important because in a month though it was exciting to be in the group we were feeling a bit too suffocated in the A-hostel. Then came tathva. Tathva the annual technical festival of NiTC.. was up next in the calendar and what seniors essentially needed was a good number of juniors to do the work for tathva.. and what we "the group who consisted of enough people to work" needed was a way out of hostel, and PAD work was the ultimate since we were all enthusiastic about it.. and so did we continue working for tathva and i hope they have never felt a lack of support from our year during our first year PAD Work there was not even need of calling for more people and there was a bond between our seniors and us. Then one thing we as a group loved and still love is to "GET THINGS DONE", if you feel this like boasting look out for more of this series of posts and  will tell you where it is really bad. But now we are talking about the first year where life is good and we are the best.

Not to deviate from the topic. Yes, we were capable of "GETTING THINGS DONE". And we did well about that for tathva PAD and during Tathva during the venue management and all we as a workforce could get things done easily. Then when describing my position during tathva being relatively a bit lazy as well as an inefficient worker, i enjoyed tathva by being a part of my love... and my passion "Mathematics". Being in love with maths was the reason for me coosing engineering. But i still made a mistake, my ove for Mathematics was its exactness and its beauty. and there was a field i hated in mathematics and engineering only considers that field. that field is calculus. Sorry for deviating from the topic, i spend most of the time explaining what "Brachistochron" Problem was.. because when i understood it i was fascinated by it. The small Physics and maths loving Me just enjoyed it.

The life followed on and our bonds became stronger, then after tathva since our ability was put at good use by seniors we became something at NiTC. Something we all were proud of. Yes, By then being in our  group " THE *********" actually became a thing to be proud of. Then came RAGAM. Then the reign was of the great seniors who fascinated us., led by the Gr8 senior of  "G" who we were all afraid of (due to respect). After all being  afraid of Final years was nothing to dent our pride. that was quite natural then. But we all admired his greatness as the General Secretary of College, and all dreamed three years later, we would be like this under the great leadership of "G".

And life during RAGAM was much more hectic and fun. To tell ya people, the first years inaugral show by Balabhaskar still tops my list of most enjoyed shows in NiTC. Then watching RAGAM from a volunteer's point of view was much fun. Similarly PAD work this time consisted of a lot of friendly seniors and enjoyed it. then did watch only one or two RAGAM events personally. After all we conducted RAGAM not watch RAGAM. Then life was fully hectic during the first semesters onlyon the night before Graphics, when you have to complete the graphics sheets which consisted of very illegibly written "Print legibly" on the sheet and before a nightmare 2-5 next day when your heart start beating fast when sir comes nears and marks our carefully marked line is 0.1 mm less or more. But the fact that we still studied a lot of Graphics taught by that great man, "The then chief warden" was understood only when the next sem a[pplications came in and we could at least understand that subject. The day before exams all my mates would be studying and me not used to that stuff will sleep peacefully after lookign around for some time then go write something. Thanks to relative grading out here, i passed the first two semesters..

Another thing i loved in this college was my seniors, they were like elder brothers to me. Being the eldest in a family is a bit bad, you get a lot of care and you tend to be a bit arrogant and feel important. But once i was hear i could be a better human being at least, they have loved me for whatever i have done for them, and since they love me, i never hesitated to do the things they asked me to do. They were my mentors and my helping hands and helped me to be a lot better than what i was. the help was not just from my seniors, My friends also guided me a lot. But for the fact they were friends who were seen as part of us, and seniors are usually seen as another entity, the special mention to seniors. ;). These are the two factors, the seniors and friends that made a better genteleman out of a rogue boy like me. :D

 

But then i'm telling of our year, i have been just telling of our group.. may be because we constitute most of the malayalees and then i do not know hindi people much. so as to comment on their lives ( I only know their names and occasionally ask "how are you", They were all good friends out there. We were all good friends during Onam we gave them a good "Sadhya".. during diwali we stood together when we burst crackers inside our hostel. Life was pretty much full of fun. Then there were also some part of malayalees who didnt really form a part of our group. I do not know may be because they are not exactly fascinated about the "koothara" style.. and liked a bit more professional and gaming type. May be they wanted to be secluded rather than being open. You never know. But still to tell though there were two groups we were united. Because there were always linking factors. One thing to be speaking about the group consisted of mostly freshers like me, so may be about the repeaters style, They might have thought isn't it a bit too much... I have occasionally thought so. But i was living in a college where i didnt want to have an image of a good boy. There was no use for it. I was never one. Though i was a studious spoon fed boy till twelveth, and i prefered the hard way out of that. Then their friendship level was at least for me very intimate like i always love, and whenever i have been with THE other guys i have felt a distance. That is what i felt at least and i was even proud of unity and our year then. Because people with diverse beliefs, diverse thoughts from different parts of the state discussing a lot of thiongs in different slangs of same language was always fun. I could always see a unity in diversity there too. There were a lot of cool friends too from out of the group but being inside was just another feel.

...Watch Out For More (as if there is someone actually reading this)...

PS: All characters appearing in this blog are real individuals. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely intentional. This blog only pertains to my views and it is certainly biased. But these stories i will be true to my conscience and will only be as i know it. It may be wrong from somebody else's view. I might have glorified a lot of things that may seem bad or undesirable those things are those i love and i might have missed somethings that i should have, maybe that is not important to me.. may be i have loathed a lot of glorious things, that will be the things i hate , but I am not at all ready to change my views and no complaints shall be entertained. But real suggestions are really welcome. Anyone is welcome to comment on this and if there is someone so pissed off do whatever you want, I simply don't mind. Tell me your opinion. Also please comment on my blog. Just i want to know whether somebody has actually read mine :P

NiTC: My story... ....:: Episode 1 ::..

Everything comes in packages... there's nothing fully there's nothing fully bad... To be frank what is bad and what is good is even relative, not like the grading at NiTC, but like some people feel that part is good.. others feel the other part is the best... just like when it comes to mileage and power in automobiles (oh i just wanted to prove i know something about mechanical :) )

It is a bad way to begin a blog but this blog i would prefer not many to read because it is what i have felt and can hurt the feelings of some people. What i was telling was about a lot of controversial things. I do not know whether i should be in to this topic during my last week as an NiTCian.. but it is surely the time.. It is of no use any later. But i will keep to a strategy.. No Names Here. I wont do it. Its bad to mention the names na. the people who read this will surely understand where they are. But a guy who doesn't know might never understand. But why do they wanna know what is really happening, it should be a great story to read then.

During our first year, we used to call NiTC, a MiniINDIA. Why? You know it was a great unity in diversity. There a lot of people from the 18 zones of india, from most of the states.. Even the kerala was so diversified from all the areas of kerala varying in culture and escpecially language from Kasargod in north to Thiruvanathapuram in the South. I had never known that one language called malayalam existed in so much different varities. then being locked in A-hostel from 7 in the evening to 8(tentatively) in the morning was another experience. Because when i came i fell into a company of a person who shared the batch with me, lets call him Mr.X. The one thing why i went into his company the first day was that i was there in his room the day before and it seemed the only familiar face in the crowd of that great Batch.About X, he was a repeater from the ""slightly south" of central kerala .

Whats so different about being a repeater. There are somethings. The major thing being they can study a lot sitting at a stretch. Moreover there is a fact, that they can simply spent time talking and sleep peacefully very late in night. and for someone who was so innocent( I dont know what is a negatively oriented word for innocent, may be i should have used "ignorant of the outside world") their talk was so interesting. So i forgot to mention was along with X, i gained friendship of Mr.Y now, who was incidentally sitting with X. How they came together i still do not know exactly.. may be the frequency... may be the last bench was the reason.. About Y, He was a repeater from the north kerala, who had great profile owing to scoring in public exam and all. The intimacy increased day by day so did number of friends.. Why? The laziness of our group was one reason. If how laziness increases intimacy is a question, the answer is incidentally I and X had room at the 2nd floor of A-hostel and climbing to the 2nd floor in the evening or noon was not a very good exercise for a pair of really lazy people and even mess in the ground very near to Y's room. Then why double back every now and then??? so we settled in the Ground floor room of Y. Then the extend was increased becuse X was nothing less than a star from his group of repeaters, and Y too was one due to his profile.

Why was this important to our year? This linked the two usually warring factions of keralites at NiTC.. The "Slightly south" and "slightly north" of central keralites.. Did i forget to tell though from north, Y studied for repeating at the "slightly north" of central Kerala. Another reason why the two factions stood together this time unlike previous batch was that there was a group of intimate friends at the famed "military" school at the state capital who had shared hostel life for 7 years split over the two groups and who had great influence over our year and hence there was not a problem since there were a lot of repeaters who knew eachother and though not united, we stood undivided as a year because there was not one guy who was not a friend of at least one of us. So was the extend we had grown into and even Mr.G who was a great guy had impressed all of us from the day we joined had attained a star position among the batch as such, and was respected by each and every one of us and he was one of us.....

Now that i told you how i'm into a group, the group due to its fancy about pep-talks(varying from new words uncommon in language to the histories of different girls all over kerala) spread to the community among the hostel far and wide. May be being into the barren land called NiTC, the discussions about the greener pastures up in the outside world always fascinated us. Everyday was like a bachelor's party, there was each and every entertainment except those involving the other kind that was forbidden in the hostel.. :)

...Watch Out For More (as if there is someone actually reading this)...

PS: All characters appearing in this blog are real individuals. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely intentional. This blog only pertains to my views and it is certainly biased. But these stories i will be true to my conscience and will only be as i know it. It may be wrong from somebody else's view. I might have glorified a lot of things that may seem bad or undesirable those things are those i love and i might have missed somethings that i should have, maybe that is not important to me.. may be i have loathed a lot of glorious things, that will be the things i hate , but I am not at all ready to change my views and no complaints shall be entertained. But real suggestions are really welcome. Anyone is welcome to comment on this and if there is someone so pissed off do whatever you want, I simply don't mind. Tell me your opinion. Also please comment on my blog. Just i want to know whether somebody has actually read mine :)

Why I Love NitC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NiTC has not just been a college for me. It has been everything for me. Over the last three years i have learned a lot of things, earned a lot of friends, learned what is to be in a society, and most importantly how any thing happens in this world.

The funny part is i have never lived the life in a way to survive my life, the important fact about it is i understood the way i follow now is not very effective in this money oriented world, but i know the exact way. Thats my style, even if i know the right way is not this, i go by the way my mind wanna go. Thats more like it. 

After all what will this lead to, but if i were to go the best way i would never be me. I will have to forget a lot of friendship for the sake of others, it won't happen. May be thats why i aint very popular among my friends. May be i dont attach myself to them too much. Not because i don't want to but i expect a lot from friends in return. May be i shouldn't expect too much. But i never change you know. There is always 1 thing i don't want them to give more commitment than what i give them. But still i expect a lot of commitment in the general world sense. So i feel alien to this world

I have a few friends who care about me as much as i want to. They are always my best friends irrespective of what they are. I don't care somebody loves me as a friend just to use me as a weapon or a slave. The only thing i worry about is whether he/she loves me or not. Strange isn't it. still just wanna remind you of what i told earlier, i know its the wrong path to go. But I'm what i'm or else you wouldn't find me writing this. 

I am so much deviating out of the topic. My love for NiTC is my relationship with the people out here. There are a lot of people in this campus not just the 7 year span of students who are my friends who have shared college with me during my course, my acquaintances(to be exact the people who recognise me)  include a lot of people who are related to this campus like a lot of non-teaching and teaching staff.

Another thing i like about this college is its location, Though in a beautiful place in kerala. When it comes to holidays and all you never feel it is in kerala, sometimes not even in India( the recent incident just made that thoughts stronger, Our college had Milad-i-sherif holiday on 10th when kerala had it on 9th, Then the college shifted the holiday so as to match with its Kerala government counterpart, The next day Kerala govt changed holiday just as if they were waiting for us to change ;) ) .We would say that our college is like an island in arabian sea. Neither part of India nor Kerala, but related most to it. 

I am so sad to leave this college in two months. Its the only reason i'm thinking should apply for an M.Tech here and be here two years more. But then everybody advises me never ever do that its not good. may be my degrees value can be destroyed. The fact that makes me understand it is the standard of the people i see as M.Techs here, who are mostly gulti guys coming here for M.Tech after a B.tech from some college out there in AP, just because in AP if the groom is an M.Tech you'll get double the dowry offered for a B.Tech. Not to mention the value of an NiT degree.

The College is also changing a lot. The cute aspects of college that existed before does not exist now. All the good aspects are going away. Then the once beautiful campus is becoming a set of buildings. So i also decided not to come back here. So This is most probably the last three months of my love. After that we may meet once in a while, just to cherish old times. The only thing i am worried about is about the status of my love when i return to college, due to many reasons. If they are building up like this, The campus will be ruined soon. I hear even for B.Tech the native state quota is going to be removed. Then it will just be a Gulti-raj out here and the college will be somewhere in Bay of Bengal near AP  rather than Arabian sea out here.

Pinne i sit again counting my days to the end of this college life. There are only a few days left. I think i should seriously think about enjoying those days to the maximum. Anyway i'll just stop it now. I had written down too much already.... 

Dp.....

NiTC: the RAGAM way

Anyone of you who is unfamiliar with NiTC mght just think whats so different about RAGAM.. Ask any NiTC student who has seen a RAGAM.

Yes, RAGAM is not just a cultural festival of NiTC. Its all about NiTC culture and spirit of working among us. Its a feeling and a spirit. To get what effort each student puts into RAGAM is, You shoul d see the deserted Rajpath on the day next to RAGAM and see the difference from the previous day.

Except for a few ppl who is busy removing the stall setups that would be perfectly deserted. The look in the face of the people is enough to give you the feel of the amount of work done those people. Except for the few working here, Most of the students will be lying tired in their beds not even able to wake up, due to the hectic work they have put in.

The Sunday after RAGAM is a day nobody in this college will bother to remember because most of the tme they will be peacefully sleeping and the remaining time we'll be sad that RAGAM is over, now we have to wait for almost an year to get this feeling once again!.

RAGAM Is not just about the three days, but it is about the hectic work over two-three months resulting in a great three days. Its a lifestyle of NiTC. I would tell, even if you study in NiTC for 4 long years and just go home for the RAGAM days, you have never known what NiTC is like. Hosting a festival for your friends and seeing them enjoy your effort to make them happy is a great feeling which you'll cherish forever in life. So RAGAM is the real spirit of NiTC.

RAGAM is not just a inter-college competition, its also a way to teach the budding engineers of NiTC how to organize a large scale event. The traning got from organising a lot of small club events is put together under the guidance of experenced seniors to create a mega event called RAGAM.

Another set of RAGAM days are coming.. and i'm just sad because this is the fourth RAGAM of my NiTC life... Probably and hopefully the last in my NiTC life... See ya after that

NiTC and Me

There are only a few reasons why i joined NiTC... The main reason was that i fell in love with beautiful lush green campus and the clean hostel which we where allowed to stay during the counselling day since there was a bus strike or so that day(Those Days the campus was much green and beautiful than now).

One another reason was that one thing the people there said canvassing for the campus. There's no ragging here (then it wasn't that problem, still the controversial problems were so scary). The ignorance of ragging and the fear of those days that once in college, you'll be made to suffer terribly by seniors and will be too much was one of the reasons i never wanted to go to college.

Then when i asked one of my parents friend who was a teacher at CET whether to take Mechanical at CET or Production here.. Then he said. Don't take anything in CET except if you get Electronics. So didn't even go for Kerala counselling seriously because having studied electronics for 2 years in THSE, i never wanted to go for another try on Advanced part of that. Its the only decision i repent. i never understood while studying again it would be so easy.

But i dont repent why i joined NiTC. I would never have got a lot of good friends spanning through 7 years of NiTC Alumni. Neither would i have learned the social life. If i had a passion for electronics. I just would have ended up in a college near my house as a bookworm and studying hard not knowing the outside world or how to pull off something.

I simply love this college now. it has taught me a lot. Now when i am about to leave this college and i look back through the past, the only thing i repent is i didn't ever study a word of academic stuff alone ever.Every coin has two sides.One truth i know is the things i studied sacrificing a lot of time and other valuables is too good, though nobody will understand the true value of that, i know it. Its more than enough for me.